Monday 8 June 2009

Druidic Reshuffle

I'm pleased to announce the reshuffle of the Druidic team.  As you know, we have a fantastic and talented team of lesser druids, who unfortunately have a habit of resigning and blaming me for it.  But in this planned and carefully calculated reshuffle, without a hint of panic or short-termism, I am pleased to announce the following:

Hnaef, formerly Executive Assistant to the Archdruid, is now First High Lord of the Holly Bush and President of the Most Holy Gorsedd.  His duties remain unchanged, as do the contents of that photo album he occasionally allows me to glimpse.

Drayton Parslow is an oily troublemaker and back-stabbing thief, toe-rag and all-round bully boy. In order to ensure his loyalty I am pleased to announce his promotion to the role of Nuncio to the Stewartby Guinea Pig People, Inter-Faith Facilitator and Second High Lord of the Holly Bush.

Burton Dassett was formerly Treasurer.  In view of his incompetence, strange demeanour and eyebrows, I am going to demote him to Treasurer.

Simplon Tunnel was previously Education Druid.  He had been hoping to be Treasurer, and has all the skills for the job - devious, aggressive, a bloke.  However in view of Burton's demotion to this role, Simplon's just gonna have to stick to showing people how to identify mistletoe and foretell the future from the insides of a Tesco's Oven Ready Chicken.

Cybil Squirrel's role as Keeper of the Entrails was to have been taken over by Dogbreth. Unfortunately Dogbreth resigned from this role even as I was announcing it.  Thus saving me from sacking him, as I had planned to do all along.  I am glad to announce that the new Keeper of the  Entrails is some bloke who arrived to clean the windows while I was planning the reshuffle. We'll annouce his name once we've caught up with his van.

I hope you can see that the new Gorsedd is completely different from the old one, refreshed rejuvenated and in no way filled by placemen, passing strangers, and retired Welsh people.  I look forward to this Gorsedd of None of the Talents being changed again when I next have a long-planned emergency reshuffle.

2 comments :

  1. Stroke of genius demoting Dassett from Treasurer to Treasurer. Keep up the good work ArchDruid.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have my full and unreserved backing. Until next week at the earliest.

    ReplyDelete

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