Thursday 29 October 2009

Human Rights and Waxing Gibbons

Now you couldn't get a group of people more interested than the Husborne Crawley Beaker Folk when it comes to human rights.  From dawn to dusk we are watching anxiously to ensure that no-one's rights are infringed by anyone else's, no matter how much the rights concerned may appear to conflict.  For example, when Bildad's right to play the banjo at 3am clashed with my right to have a good night sleep, we were able to encourage Wilpo's right to smash banjos to resolve the issue.
But today I had a lawyer turned up on the doorstep.  She said that by locking Bloodwort and Ludwick up in the Gulfing Room for nine hours, we were interfering with their rights to be bullying, fascist bores and that she would see us in court.
Naturally, I took the opportunity to show her the Gulfing Room so she could see that nothing untoward happens in there.  Nine hours later she came out burbling something about butterflies.  She was last seen sitting on the lawn, singing "Orinoco Flow" while looking up at the waxing gibbous moon.  
On the subject of gibbous moons, we still haven't heard anything from the breakaway Gibbon Moon People.  Apparently their negotiations with the Guinea Pig Folk of Stewartby have broken down on the important question of whether they've actually got to keep the rules they're agreeing to, or whether it's all just pretend like being in the Church of England.  I get the feeling they're in for a shock. 

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