Thursday 5 August 2010

London 2012 - A Vision

Worry is a sin. Whenever someone comes to me and tells me that they are worried, I tell them that their worry shows a lack of faith. They should go away and repent, and their faith will see them through. I believe this to be very good advice in practice, as well as soundly Biblical.  Indeed, I have never had anyone come back to me later to say they are still worried.

However, I am worried today. Call it a prophet's vision. I see the year 2012. I envisage the quadrennial world-wide athletic festival that is to be held in London - I will not give it its more traditional name, pagan in origin as it is.  I imagine the great influx of young female athletes into our capital city for the events. And a still small voice whispers to me - "Beware Boris".

I can see how it will be. Boris Johnson will be 48 years of age. The type of age when you take stock of what you've achieved in your life. And you look around and see that, while you've the Mayor of a reasonably-sized city in Southern England, other people you went to University with are touring the world annoying foreigners, or writing satirical Baptist websites. And you wonder whether you still have the vision and the vim and energy you had as a floppy-haired young man.

And then you suddenly realise that thousands of young ladies have been flown specially to the city of which you are mayor. Thousands of ladies who are - in the modern parlance - "fit". And that many will have significant amounts of "downtime" after their events are completed.

I tell you, I worry that we could see the Old Etonian equivalent of a ram being let loose in a field of ewes in the Autumn.

I fear for an outbreak of floppy hair and braying vowel sounds spread across the world in a way not seen since the height of the British Empire. Not to mention the physical strain on Mr Johnson himself, which might surpass that on a triathlete running his event on a hot day in Deptford.

But I have a plan. My intention is that, at every event Boris attends at the 2012 games, a member of our congregation will be there in the crowd, carrying not just our normal "John 3:16" banner, but also another one. The precise wording will have to be agreed by the Banners Sub-Committee, but I am tending towards "Give it a Break, Boris".

Today being my day of rest, I will have to leave further preparations. However on Sunday I will be launching our "London 2012" appeal, to raise enough money to enable one member of the congregation to stay in London and attend all significant events.  We have yet to identify who this person should be.  But since other members of the congregation are working, and their wives will have the important jobs of making their tea for when they get in, I feel I may be called to this worthy, Godly and prophetic sacrifice myself.

3 comments :

  1. Just make sexual harassment an Olympic event, then he's bound to cock it up ... :)

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  2. Maybe you should have Revelation 20:12 on abanner too?

    "And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works."

    That'd so 'em

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  3. Braying vowel sounds...hilarious!

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