Tuesday 22 February 2011

Nativity of Kenneth Williams (1926)

Archdruid: OK you post-modern praise-mongers. Are we going to play this funny or tortured, self-hating and angst-fuelled?
All: Oo-er, Matron.


Archdruid: Looks like it's funny again, then. For the 7th glorious year. OK. Friends, Romans...
Hnaef: Countrymen.
Archdruid: I know.

Gradual: The Ballad Of The Woggler's Moulie

Confession 
Archdruid: Talk for Just a Minute on "Sins I have committed" without hesitation, repetition, or....
All: Ooh! Matron!

Absolution 
Archdruid:  Stop messing about!


Mutual Benedictions 

Archdruid: May the benevolence of the god Shivoo bring blessings on your house.
All: And on yours.
Archdruid: And may his wisdom bring success in all your undertakings.
All: And in yours.
Archdruid: And may his radiance light up your life.
All: And up yours.

Recitation of old patter that is unexpectedly topical
Hnaef: They will die the death of a thousand cuts!
Mrs Hnaef: Oh! But that's horrible!
Hnaef: Not at all my little desert flower, the British are used to cuts!

Archdruid: It's an enigma, matron. An enigma.
All: I'm not having another one of those.


Dismissal


Archdruid: Infamy! Infamy!
All: They've all got it infamy!

3 comments :

  1. During the lighting of the thurible:
    Archdruid Eileen: Do you mind if I smoke?
    Response: Frying tonight!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice one, Phil. Thanks.
    I should point out that my acolytes this morning were Julian and his friend, Sandy.

    ReplyDelete

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl