Wednesday 9 March 2011

Standardised train apologies - by delay

LatenessApology
Up to ten minutesThe train arriving at platform two is the 18:53.
Up to twenty minutes
The slightly late running 18:53...
Up to thirty minutesWe apologise for the late running of the 18:53.
Up to an hourWe're deeply sorry for the inconvenience caused by the late running of the 18:53.
Up to to 90 minutesWe're grief-stricken for the utter devastation caused to your lives by the late running of the 18:53
Up to 2 hoursWords cannot express how distraught we are for the blank, empty future you face due to the late running of the 18:53
Up to 3 hoursPlease! Take my car! Anything to apologise for the late running of the 18:53.
Exactly 3 hoursThe train arriving at platform two is the... on-time 21:53.

2 comments :

  1. If you ever get tired of Archdruiding you would make a wonderful CEO for British Rail's PR Dept.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah bless... I remember those many occasions only too well. Especially in winter, at 11pm on a wind-swept platform. Happy days.

    ReplyDelete

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