Thursday 2 June 2011

Ascension Day and the Lowest Common Denomination

Sometimes in this diverse, multi-cultural (obviously we're all white and middle-class, but a few of us are Welsh or Scottish) and undenominational community, we have to agree to differ. Or, when I say "agree to differ", what I really mean is "believe the same as me or shut up". The basic rule of the Community is that of the Lowest Common Denomination - that is, that in the interests of all, everything is kept believable, and achievable, by everybody. The same policy adopted by many ecumenical churches - and indeed many Anglican ones, I believe. Which is why when we found that the Bible was too hard for some post-literate types, we replaced it with the X-Box version which everyone could play. Albeit some of the older members of the community can't get past Level 4 due to their slower reflexes. And I'm still annoyed with Young Keith, who found what he called an "easter egg" that enabled him to equip King David with a Browning sub-machine gun.

But in the interest of the Lowest Common Denomination we are suspending the annual Ascension Day "Standing on the Roof" ceremony this morning. Poor Ethyl really wanted to come. But we were aware that should she over-react to her blood pressure medicine (or should Morgwn's vertigo kick in) we would be looking at a Descension - or a Declension - or whatever the rapid opposite of an Ascension is.
So for this morning's Beaker Ascension Day Event, please can all members of the Community assemble outside, where you will find a "cherry-picker" each. I'll be operating all the booms by the use of the many remote controllers I will be operating from my safe vantage point. What could possibly go wrong?

1 comment :

  1. An Xbox version of the Bible hey, does it support Kinect? (mind you I bet the last level is a bit dull, probably make your arms ache too!) ;)

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