Wednesday 1 June 2011

Blog Search Terms

From time to time, Eileen asks me to go through Google Analytics to see the search terms by which people (unsuspecting) have discovered the Beaker Blog. Then we have a good laugh as we try to imagine what they were looking for. But she's terribly conscientious, and hates the thought that there are people out in the Blogosphere worried that they've asked questions that we haven't answered. So she's asked me to go through the search terms, and sort out some answers for them.

If you were the person that entered these terms and found these answers, then I hope I've now enlightened you.

Blogsearchterm Our answer
beaker folk gnomes Why do people keep searching for this? 200 times this year. What are you after? Because we don't have it.
apple alarm Oddly, this search term only occurs at 3am on weekends. We've no idea why.
small garden ornaments We recommend a nice gnome.
coronation street gay Yes. Notoriously.
dangerous cyclists Yes. Notoriously.
gurdur boring site:http://cyber-coenobites.blogspot.com/  Not sure who should be more offended, us or Gurdur.
i wish we'd all been ready Bet you're glad you weren't, now.
still got the blues I'm not surprised. You're typing Blues lyrics into Google. How could you ever be happy? Get out and meet people.
a queer thing happened to america Yes. Independence. But maybe one day they'll see sense.
astrology is wrong It doesn't work, either. It's very bad science.
cosmic anteater We're scared already. Don't make matters worse.
i’m no longer an independent baptist fundamentalist but i still love my king james bible It's lovely. But why not get one in English?
"nice things happen to nice people" plato I'm pretty sure that wasn't Plato.
according to the bible where is the land of nod Up the wooden hill, turn left when you reach Bedfordshire.
are there any reports of hauntings in stopsley bedfordshire No. Or possibly yes.
beaker culture matriarchal Archdruid Eileen says not. And we daren't argue.
berkshire smells of smoke Yes, I believe it did.
does the king james bible say no alchohol of any kind No, of course it doen't.
doeswkdbluealcopopsaffectfertility No, only literacy.
has anyone actually done schrodingers cat Let's hope not.
how do we wish michael palin a happy birthday? "Happy Birthday, Michael."
how would i preach at my own funeral Slowly.
is professor brian cox a christian No. But he's still a nice guy.
is rapture good or bad? Probably both. Depends on whether you've been left behind.
is there a sequel to parable of the talents Yes. The parable where the bloke with only one talent gets voted off.
lord of the dance not theologically correct You said it.
ordinariate pay conditions Let's just say - don't set your heart on the company car.
short summary of the three strangers by thomas hardy One of them's the hangman. One of them is his intended victim. There, I've spoilt it.
spring beaker gay mens There's no answer to that.
stavrakopoulou bikini Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.
the benefits of a waxing gibons moon and gender Look, you really need help.
was joan of arc an sinner Yes. We all are. Except for one rumoured exception.

No comments :

Post a Comment

Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl