Wednesday 8 June 2011

Male Archdruids

Once again I'm being nagged as to why there is a so-called "glass ceiling" for men in the Beaker Folk. Why, they ask me, is Hnaef merely Executive Arch-assistant to the Archdruid?

And in reply, I normally point out that it's not a glass ceiling. It's an 18th century original feature ceiling, with concrete reinforcement, a bodged Artex job, large authentic original oak rafters, a bit of mildew and a big sign saying "Beware of the low ceiling". Especially if you're a 6'2" assistant in walking boots.

But then I also point out that men are, as a whole, less sensitive, less emotionally attached, less empathetic. Less gentle. With no real sense for colour, or the appropriate use of scented tea lights. And a lot more needy - men spend all their time trying to ensure that their egos are stroked (if you're lucky). They break their legs and sustain other injuries playing football, and then when they hit 44 they have a mid-life crisis and dye their hair or spend all their time at work. Followed shortly afterwards by a heart attack and a gradual decline. Also, being on the whole big and lumpy, they've no grace. They go a bit flaky.

In short, they're the weaker sex. They don't provide the sort of stability we need round here. In a crisis, they're liable to go off collecting train numbers on the Marston Vale Line when they should be open to the hurt, suffering and needfulness around them.

And if you really want male leaders, you can join the Church of England. I believe they've loads of them.

5 comments :

  1. Nail hit on head with hammer in dangerously tool-using male way. Do you females only become this perceptive at certain times in the month?

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  2. I resemble those remarks!

    And when you have a spouse who is better at all of this stuff then you are, you either develop an inferiority complex or accept it with thanks and grace and get on with the washing up.

    I'm not sure that all men fit this mould. When I think of previous posts from this blog, and the fear and trembling that the male druids hold the Arch Druid in, I actually think of people like Attila the Hun? Perhaps he could be invited to be a guest Archdruid as he obviously trained Archdruid Eileen.

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  3. Enjoyed the punch line in particular!

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  4. Bishop Alan, if the menfolk round here want to hit a nail on the head, they first spend an hour rooting around in the shed trying to identify precisely the right nail for that kind of job. This will normally be in one of an assortment of biscuit tins. They will spend an equal amount of time deciding whether to use a ball pein or claw hammer - and sometimes debating whether, in the circumstances, a cross-headed screw might be more appropriate.
    Then having selected the right nail and the right hammer, they will hit themselves on the thumb.

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