Tuesday 23 August 2011

Naming and Not Shaming

It is a common belief, Brothers and Sisters, that the Internet, by opening out our view of the world, is a good thing. And of course, without the Internet people would not have the chance to read my pious and devout thoughts. But consider - godly believer or pagan groping towards the light as ye may be - consider that if you are reading these words, then even on the same page there may be ghastly and ungodly thoughts expressed by my neighbour and landlady, the soi-disant "Archdruid" Eileen.

A case in point came when I noted on the side-bar of this blog a posting on the Biblical Preaching Blog regarding identifying individuals. Naturally, I expected some kind of advice on the correct policy regarding naming and shaming notorious sinners in the congregation - what period of public repentance we should expect from them; whether we should ask them to sit in a special "naughty pew" - whether simply to ban them from the congregation, if they have not already walked out, for a period of time.

But no, it would seem instead these are guidelines about how not to embarrass named, known individuals. Well, Brothers (and suitably-guided Sisters, perhaps by a husband or pastor), my first problem with the instructions in this otherwise helpful post is that I can't remember everybody's name every time. Certainly I have a good memory for people's sins, but a poor one for names. So sometimes, instead of saying "Joe! Do you have anything you want to bring before the Lord?" I may have to resort to "Young man who came to me for advice with his attraction to his wife's sister - do you have anything you want to bring before the Lord? Apart from the obvious, of course." You can see that this is not always the best way to identify people.

So my guidance on naming people would include the following:

Do not choose people at random during the early parts of worship and ask them what good thing has happened to them this week. This is grievous to the Lord - he does not approve of "random". Instead wait, pray, and discern who to ask.

If you call someone to the front for prayer when they are going through a difficult time, and if they have not cried within five minutes, stop asking them sad questions. It isn't fair to press too hard.

When preaching, giving examples of people in the congregation is always a powerful way to show the power of prayer for healing. But there are certain ailments, even when healed, that people would rather you did not mention. I discovered this the other week.  I was celebrating Brian's being able to sit in his pew without a comfy cushion for the first time in three years, but Brian intimated to me later that he would rather I had not drawn anyone's notice to him. Naturally I rebuked him - the Lord has spoken, who will not prophesy? - but the point was taken. When he is healed of his erectile dysfunction I will warn him, and he can stay away if he would rather not be the centre of attention.

When preaching on repentance, be sensitive in what you reveal of people in the congregation. If they have repented of their sins in the last five or six weeks ago, their sin and pain may still be very raw. I would advise always leaving it six months before including the specific former sins of  congregation members in my sermons - by that stage we can be sure their repentance is strong and their restoration secure.

Naming couples with sexual problems is always wrong. You must preserve anonymity at all times in these cases. But these people need the congregation to pray for them. I'd suggest hedging it round with comments like "There is a couple in the congregation that needs prayer for their private life. I can't tell you who they are - but they have been coming to church for three years now. He has a busy job as a quantity surveyor. And they believe that having a six-year-old and a four-year-old - and the younger still in nappies - together with the wife's suspicions about his secretary -  is making them too tired. And now let us pray." You see what I have done there - helped the congregation to focus their prayers, while keeping the people prayed for anonymous.

Brothers (and Sisters, although clearly advice on leading worship and preaching will be of no use to you), I firmly believe these examples should help you to keep things earthed while maintaining discretion. Since formulating these rules myself, barely 30% of people I have named in sermons have left the congregation. And these were, I think it's fair to say, the headstrong, rebellious ones in any case.

6 comments :

  1. Dear Rev Drayton Parslow, have you ever considered the possibility that you mis-heard God's calling.?

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  2. Oh finally someone has said this, I feel a palpable of relief.

    Ever since I adopted principles such as those you recommend, my congreagation has gone from 600 strong, to two.

    I know some unregenerate souls may view this as failure, but I have simply weeded out the chaff....

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  3. Stuart - well done. Truly you have the remnant, the faithful few.

    Ray - I can see perhaps you believe I should be looking at the oversight of a few congregations, discipling pastors across the whole of Beds and Milton Keynes, perhaps. But no! I am dedicated to the little flock I have here - at least until God calls me to something better-rewarded.

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  4. My wife and mum will be truly pleased to hear you've said that about them. I shall be sure to inform them, for their edification and encouragement.

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  5. Very wise. You wouldn't want them trying to make up their own minds. Imagine the disasters that might ensue.

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  6. Obviously I received guidance in reading this article or who knows what I might have made of it. May I thank you for the sensitive way you help people to pray, I will draw my pastors attention to this...

    Oh wait...

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