3 hours. No talking, mobile phones or proselytising.
1. Why would you not want to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury? (Use no more than 6 sheets of paper)
2. A small Methodist chapel has six members. With the aid of compasses and a protractor, draw a diagram of the inter-relationships of the committees they are on. Use no more than four dimensions.
3. Using a sketch-map of the world, explain the Anglican Covenant. (Do not colour countries in pink. We don't own them any more).
4. A URC chapel has 20 members. Draw the typical seating arrangement at 10.29 on a Sunday. (Use the back row only)
5. At an evangelical church, Alfie has "gone forward" 7 times in the last year. Bertie has "gone forward" 4 times and Chelsea 10 times. Why on earth does the pastor keep making altar calls?
6. Two Anglican clergy are trapped between floors in a lift. What are the chances, by the time they are rescued, of a schism?
7. The graph below shows an experiment on the effect of incense concentration on congregation members.
a) At which concentration of incense has the entire congregation passed out?
b) Why were people coughing even when the thurible was empty?
8. Compose a letter to the local newspaper complaining that the local minister is introducing "modern" worship. Feel free to use the expressions "thin end of the wedge", "dancing in the aisles" and "Graham Kendrick".
9. Imagine God's feelings about current Anglican pre-occupations. Try not to let your tears stain the paper.
10. Geoff has 55 tea lights. Jane has 55 hazelnuts. Paul has 5 large pebbles and Sue has a small paper-shredder. Why do you suspect that you may be on a theological training course?
11. On a silent retreat, what percentage of the men will be in the pub within 10 minutes of Compline? Clue for people with Arts degrees - "100%" is equal to all of them)
12. "The only thing worse than an Episcopalian's taste in vestments is a modern Catholic's taste in architecture." Discuss.
13. If it costs £250,000 to meet David Cameron, just how gullible are you? (This isn't a question about Christianity, thankfully, but I just fancied asking it).
14. With the aid of filters and fair-trade ingredients, explain why you suspect that "Cafe Church" may be a middle-class concept.
15. If Jesus wanted to let little children come to him, what is the average age of your congregation?