Sunday 1 November 2015

Samhain in the Air Tonight

Bit of a challenging Samhain last night even by Beaker Folk standards, then.

I'm not going to beat about the bush, there's a reason why we've always banned badgers from Beaker worship. They're vicious beggars that eat hedgehogs. And all the Beaker Folk are scared of them.

So when two of them wander into the meadow while we're just about to light the Wicker Person, it's not gonna be a great start to the proceedings.

In the panic as everybody scarpered from our barcode-impressionist friends, there was a minor issue with the winner of the Giant Pumpkin competition. Inasmuch as Morbit's finest ever specimen was knocked loose from its moorings and rolled down the drive towards Drayton Parslow's cottage. Drayton, about to head out on his annual circuit of the village warning trick or treaters of the fires of hell, was astounded to be hit amidships by a 220lb vegetable. And ended up covered with pumpkin flesh and rind, and unable to see where he was going. Wandered out into the road, narrowly missed a passing van, and terrified the kids having a party down School Lane.

So we abandoned Samhain for the day. Unfortunately, according to Beaker rules, we can't move it to another feast day that's already booked. And we already had a lot of feast days booked - we get a bit bored if it's not a special occasion. So today's out (All Hallows). Tomorrow's All Souls. Tuesday is the Nativity of Ludovic Kennedy. And you may not think the latter is more significant liturgically than All Hallow's Eve, but we've already baked the cake.

So Halloween this year for the Beaker Folk will be November 31st. Yes, I know that day doesn't really exist. But what can we do? Between midnight on the 30th and midnight and a little bit on the 1st December, we will light the Wicker Person and celebrate the ancient autumnal feast of it being a bit closer to Yule than we really expected. And we're gonna sweep the field for badgers in advance.

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