Tuesday 16 February 2016

Handfasting Charges 2016

For those incredibly sad Beaker Folk who've been following the Twitter Church of England Synod feed and want to know why we don't have a similar system. First up, of course we do.

And for anyone thinking of a Beaker Handfasting - the charges are as follows.

Handfasting.................... £45

Broomstick-Jumping..... £10

Certificate ...................... £10

March of the Penguins... 20 herrings

Beaker Quire................... £ Free

Beaker Quire Absent...... £20

Sermon ........................... £10 / min

Sermon (pre-loved) ........ £20

Heating (Oil fired) .......... £90

Heating (Dragon fired) ... 3 sheep

Clown Celebrant ............. £90

Humanist Celebrant ....... Free with a real one

Confetti ........................... £15

Locking the "ex" outside. £75

Video ............................... £20

Bouncers ......................... £45

Hoverboard Procession* £50

Fireworks ........................ £200+

Mini bar ........................... Prices as listed

Bowling Alley ................... £5 per game

Fairy Godparent ............... £70

Tea lights ..........................  10p

Golf buggy ........................ £30

Verging on the ridiculous. £30

Lucky stones .................... £10

Lecherous Uncle .............. Ubiquitous

Inter-family fight ............... £100

* £200 deposit, refunded if the hoverboard doesn't explode

4 comments :

  1. Specially love the Quire charges!

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  2. Are you sure? A couple of lines of the Shipping Forecast seem to have got mixed in with that.

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  3. I am just imagining a procession of Priest and servers all on Hoverboards. Seeing the video of just one Priest riding his hoverboard was enough to give me apoplexy but a whole procession - wow!

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    Replies
    1. I expect Archdruid Eileen gained more enjoyment from writing this post than we did in relation to the somewhat inopportune Synod debate. However, I note that most of the Beaker charges for Handfasting relate to "extras" rather than the ceremony itself.

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